The Female Role in Violence against Females & Children

A colleague asked me if I could blog about violence against women and all that means, what the impact is for all who may be involved, in support of 16 Days of Activism Against Gender Violence, an annual campaign that runs from the 25 November - 10 December. It set me thinking.

When you think about violence against anyone, how do you picture it in your mind? Do you see one person physically beating someone else up? Do you see it as a man on man thing, a fight, where two men beat the hell out of one another for some reason? When most people think of violence I am guessing that that last is probably one of the first pictures that spring to mind.

If that were the only kind of violence it would be bad enough, but sadly there are other layers to this – like an onion, particularly if you are female. Violence towards females can take many forms, from the level of violence that shows no blood or external marking, to violence that ends in death. And the age of the female is no barrier. Do you think of violence against women as being something perpetrated only by boys or men against females of any age? If you do STOP – and think again.

I am not going to start listing some of the truly awful violent ways in which small children are so often treated, but I can say that violence is not necessarily something that only men/boys participate in. Violence against females of any age is committed by female siblings, cousins, nieces, aunties, mother’s and even more sadly by grandmothers and foster mothers. I am not a social worker but I am pretty sure if you were to talk to one who has worked in that field for a long time you would be horrified at some of the stories you would hear. And the perpetrators would usually have, to them, valid reasons for that violence. I am not talking the occasional smack here either. It goes on all over the world, all the time, and with a small child it is easy to cover up until it is too late. If you are ever told by a child that she is being abused by a female relative, or if you even suspect it, don’t just ignore it, anymore than you would ignore a female child saying that they are being abused by a male relative or friend. Children are most at risk because they look up to adults, and even more so with the women in their lives; women are the carers, and if they are told they are wrong or naughty and that is why they are being ‘punished’ in some cruel and violent way, then they will believe it. And worse, if they survive that treatment and grow up they will then visit that same violence upon other girls, both as adolescents and adults. Do you consider girls bullying girls as violence? Bet you don’t, but even bullying can be violent and will go unreported for fear of reprisals. And in many of today’s societies around the world women are becoming more violent.

And violence against women may well have always been there in one form or another, but it does not excuse it. Violence by women on women is not excusable either, but where people might notice and comment on, or even report, violence by men against women, I do wonder how often female on female violence is reported.

Don’t ignore it if you see it. It is as bad and damaging as that of men ill treating women. Report it. Speak up. If you live in a community, go to the elders of the community and report it, go to the police, call the police, speak to a relative – family members might not be aware of what is going on. If you have a boyfriend or husband or other male that you can have with you [if you are female yourself] as back up, then stop it. Don’t just turn a blind eye. Aside from any other factor, anyone who gets away with violence will use it again and again because they think that no one is going to stop them, it is their right to behave that way, and if you do something to stop them you are also helping them – they may end up severely injuring someone or killing them, child, girl or woman, and you will definitely be saving others from suffering from that same violence in the future.

Look at it this way. If that were you being beaten up or treated in some other violent way by another woman or women, would you hope and pray that someone would help you? You bet you would, so don’t ignore female on female violence – do something about it, ALWAYS.

And as I have mentioned here, if you are scared to be seen or heard doing something about it, report it in other, less open ways. You can go to the police, you can call the police, you can report it to a teacher or a headmistress/master, you can even call The Samaritans and ask for help.